November 20, 2019
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Blackadder – The Army Years (real subs)


Congratulations. What a terrific performance. Many many congratulations, what
an exciting night that must be. So, ladies and gentlemen,
something rather different. Tonight we are celebrating
a great British tradition. And tradition is something
we do very well in Britain. Some of our noblest families
go back many many centuries, and some popped over from
Germany a lot more recently. Perhaps our oldest and most
celebrated family of all… is the Black Adder dynasty. And now, representing the current
generation of malcontents, please welcome from her majesty’s
royal regiments of shirkers, captain the lord Edmund Blackadder! or a suburban Your royal highness… ladies and gentlemen. The world is changing, and her majesty’s armed forces… must change with it. Consider Britain and its position
in the world today. At the beginning of the last century
just one hundred years ago Britain kept the peace in a
quarter of the entire globe. The sun, as they say, never
set on the British empire. Now, what have we got? The Channel Islands. The Germans have bought Rolls-Royce, all the news readers are Welsh, although that may not be relevant, and most foreigners think
that the union jack is based… on an old dress design
for one of the spice girls. So what is to be done? Well the answer to my
mind is very simple: If we are to reestablish
our position in the world, the army must return
to its traditional role, the very reason for which it existed, in the first place. We must… invade… France. No no. No, no, I’m serious. Our advanced guard of mad cows
has already done a superb job. And the French are in disarray. Now is the time for actual occupation. Now you may say, Why France? Well that’s a very good question. But I can think of
three reasons. Firstly, whenever we try to
speak their language, they sneer at us, and talk
back to us in English. God, they are so irritating. Secondly, they deliberately
won the world cup… by maliciously playing
better football than us. And thirdly, simple
political strategy. Look at the history books: Whenever Britain fought the French… we were top dog. For five hundred years, from
Agincourt to the battle of Waterloo, Britain went from strength to strength, and gained the greatest empire
the world has ever known. The minute we start getting
chummy with the garlic chewers, within three short
decades we’re buggered. Hello, obvious connection alert. So that’s the secret. If Mr. Blair wants us to be
at the heart of Europe… let us simply go to
the heart of Europe. Gather together those submarines
which don’t leak. Prime both rifles which do not jam. Get the army to Waterloo station, buy fifty five thousand tickets
on the eurostar, and invade France. Or… we could just wait for the
euro to drop a bit more, and then simply buy the place. Lord Blackadder, ladies and gentlemen. Great treat to see him back.
And now…

Tony wyaad

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24 COMMENTS

  1. ARNAB DAS Posted on September 6, 2018 at 11:36 am

    Britain had kept peace you say? hmm. hmmmmmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

    Reply
  2. Lekir Posted on November 7, 2018 at 10:04 am

    Watched this several times and still laughing everytime. Now that's a quality comedian.

    Reply
  3. Grofvolkoren Posted on February 15, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    Or Europe could wait for the UK to decide to leave the EU, see the pound drop and simply buy the place.

    Reply
  4. Stefan Van pellicom Posted on February 18, 2019 at 10:41 pm

    I assume this is a pre-Brexit sketch ? 😉

    Reply
  5. Izif Addag Posted on February 19, 2019 at 1:32 am

    I am an English emigre to America and I have no idea who the used car salesman is who is pretending to be the compere. Help! He reminds me of Mike Reid (dink wee)

    Reply
  6. João Rita Posted on February 19, 2019 at 11:37 am

    And today, it's the Euro that can almost buy the pound…

    Reply
  7. Brian Raine Posted on February 20, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    Where would they run to ?? Germany no they would be classified as economic migrants!!!!!!!

    Reply
  8. Kenickie Syxx Posted on February 21, 2019 at 11:02 am

    That's what Income Tax was invented a war against France and we are well overdue a war with France

    Reply
  9. DigNap15 Posted on February 21, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    The subs are often wrong! Who does these? A ten year old child?

    Reply
  10. John Kenneth Wiseman Posted on February 21, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    Look at the mad cow situation today. She lives at number ten, Downing street

    Reply
  11. MrBuckaroonie Posted on February 22, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    Love how he had the SASR wings on.

    Reply
  12. King Ijaz MaliK : 1996-2096 Posted on February 23, 2019 at 3:02 am

    Great 🇬🇧

    Reply
  13. Richard Smith Posted on February 23, 2019 at 3:07 am

    Can't beat English humor. Sorry, humour. Loved it since I was young. Brilliant. And I'm a Yank.

    Reply
  14. Richard Smith Posted on February 23, 2019 at 3:08 am

    Oh, I know it's wasn't comedy, but I LOVED Hornblower.

    Reply
  15. Willy Williscroft Posted on February 23, 2019 at 10:31 am

    Do not ever place SAS wings on an actor, FFS

    Reply
  16. Manuel Mangani Posted on March 26, 2019 at 10:51 pm

    The script was not brilliantly funny, but Rowan Atkinson still excelled. What a comic!

    Reply
  17. Nick Borromeo Posted on April 22, 2019 at 4:17 am

    why wasn't he promoted rank to the rank lieutenant colonel he must have been a great battlalion commander and leader if fhat happens

    Reply
  18. Elumio Merk Posted on May 3, 2019 at 10:54 am

    "Kept the peace" in quarter of the entire globe. Aaah don't we just love euphemisms?

    Reply
  19. Fredo V Posted on May 19, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    I think, with the brexit, France will able to buy England. A new invasion even if we already did it! Especialy with britsh national anthem (yes, it's a french song)

    Reply
  20. Shahin Tajeri Posted on June 8, 2019 at 10:31 am

    I root for the French because of the S.I system.

    Reply
  21. Zachary JBo Posted on August 23, 2019 at 7:19 pm

    I agree! LETS INVADE FRANCE!!! GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!🇬🇧 I would follow Blackadder to the ends of the earth.

    Reply
  22. Ruben Kamphuis Posted on August 24, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    How the tides have turned 🙂 Let's wait before the Pound drops a bit more and even Poland can buy the place :)))))

    Reply
  23. Omega Alpha Posted on September 3, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    20 years later: France be like: Hey, Britain, pound seems low, how much for a piece of land?

    Reply
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