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Finding the Right Therapist – 5 Tips from a Navy SEAL


About a month ago I did a video on how I
personally deal with social anxiety and I had no idea how many people deal with
social anxiety or how many people that would actually resonate with that got
almost a million views and just over two weeks and we got a ton of emails on how
much it helped a lot of people and in those emails there seemed to be one
really common question which is how did I find my therapist the right therapist
for me so when I was doing my search I just had to kind of figure it out myself
because I was too fucking embarrassed to ask anybody on how to find a good ones
but I had five things that I kind of followed and so that’s what this video
is gonna be is the five things that I kept in mind when I was doing my search
to find the right therapist for me just a quick side note for you guys coming
home from combat getting out of the service when I got out I had nobody to
be accountable to I had no purpose and this was probably the one thing that got
me back on track all right so if you’re looking for you know a way
to get yourself back on track and to find a purpose and for some
accountability accountability this might be the perfect thing to help you out so
you hold your therapist is gonna hold you accountable all right you got to be
there on time you can’t be drinking the night before you go in there if you want
to get something out of it and it will help you get your mind right it’s
probably the best fucking thing I’ve ever done for myself so what that being
said let’s go over these five things that I
kept in mind when I was doing my search so the first question I asked myself is
who do I want to open up to don’t want to open up to a male or a female
and initially maybe in a combat vet I thought the only person that I could
open up to would be a male who had been in my shoes who had been to combat so I
looked all over the place for somebody probably in the Vietnam area who was now
a therapist and to my surprise I didn’t find any
so my next train of thought was well I’m not gonna be able to open up to a male
that has never been to combat or experience the things that I’ve
experienced and I would have that expectation so I chose a female which
doesn’t mean that’s what you need but that was my train of thought and just
for the record it may be better that I never did find a male who had been to
combat because who knows maybe I would have been you know comparing myself to
that individual the entire process so anyways what you need to do first is
decide who you want to talk to if you want to talk to a male or do you want to
talk to a female the second thing that I looked for was the type of therapist
that I wanted to talk to so we got three types here we got counselors we got
psychologists and we have psychiatrist all right so what are the difference
between those well psychologists and psychiatrists are both doctors for me
personally I wanted to talk to a doctor and so that ruled out counselor
immediately the difference between psychologists and psychiatrists is the
major difference for me was psychiatrists can prescribe
all right they can give you a scrip for meds they can prescribe your meds and
psychologists cannot all right that doesn’t mean they don’t have a network
to where if you need something they can’t get it done but I personally
didn’t want to be fed a bunch of pills and so the best choice for me was to go
with a psychologist so keep that in mind all right who do you want to see
counselor psychologist or psychiatrist so the third thing to keep in mind is
what do they specialize them what is that individual doctor or counselor
specialize in is it insomnia is it anxiety is it family issues is it
marital issues is it addiction is it PTSD you need to figure that out you can
find that on our website or on our Psychology Today profiles but find
somebody that specializes and what you think you’re going for all right and
that should be pretty cut and dry but they don’t all specialize in everything
so make sure you read up on whoever you plan on going to see the fourth thing I
did and this is probably one of the most important is I did my research on who
they are as a person – all right I chose a female when I started narrowing it
down you’d be surprised what you can find on Facebook Instagram a quick
little background check all right a lot of the psychologists that I were looking
up I’d pull them you know especially mid 20s early 30s
I’d pull them up on Facebook and the next thing you know I see the
psychologists and I’m getting ready to open up to bong and beers off the side
of a yacht and a g-string all right may not sound too bad for some of you
out there but for me I wanted to separate that side of my life from my
therapist and I didn’t want to be thinking about anything other than
helping myself get better in therapy so do a quick background check John I’m all
right do you know there’s that app been verified you can check that that’ll give
you a quick background on just about anybody and you know look them up on
look them up on the grim look them up on Facebook see what you can dig up about
them you might be surprised if you’re serious about it I wouldn’t go at the
party animal that you’re gonna be thinking about other stuff in the middle
of the session so do a quick background check the fifth thing you just got a
call and see if they’re even taking on any new patients all right usually the
first sessions free that’s a great gauge all right use that bounce around if you
need to all right make sure whoever you’re gonna open up to you’re gonna be
able to connect with it’s not only for you it’s for them they need to be able
to connect with you as well all right so if you don’t feel comfortable you’re not
gonna feel like real comfortable in the first session but if you feel like it’s
similar that you could get comfortable with if you feel like the environment
that you’re gonna be in because you’re gonna spend a lot of time in there is
comfortable then that might be a good option for you if the environment and
the person that you’re talking to you don’t feel comfortable with will find
another one but call them up make sure they have availability and take
advantage of that first free session see if see if it’s gonna work then lastly
just a couple of things that really fit in either of those categories any of the
five but referrals alright just like anything everybody’s got referrals
everybody has the best photographer they have the best medical doctor they got
the best fucking painter all right they got the best therapists alright just
because it’s the best therapist for them doesn’t
mean it’s the best for you the other thing is when you go in there if you
were to take a referral which I referred a lot of my friends to mine but you
might find yourself wondering where whoever referred you sits or what they
talk about or how you compare and your therapist eyes to whoever referred you
that didn’t affect me so just keep that in mind when you’re taking referrals and
or giving referrals all right insurance most therapists that I found did not
take insurance why probably because they want to keep your files confidential and
they don’t want to answer to a fucking insurance company so that means probably
gonna come out of your pocket all right I have VA coverage I personally don’t
like the VA I don’t get to choose who I see at the VA so I came out of pocket
alright I think it was well worth it if you have somebody like use them but a
hundred two hundred bucks for a session per week or however a lump much are
going I mean a lot of people spend that on a trainer that took a two-week course
on how to keep your ass a little tighter so your heads probably a little more
important than your ass so sport the money it’ll be well worth it I promise
lastly I said at the beginning a little bit I’ll say it again you guys coming
home from combat that are looking for some stability looking for some
accountability and looking for a purpose you’re not gonna find it tomorrow you’re
probably not gonna find it the next day probably not gonna find it next week all
right what you need to do is get your head right by going to therapy you’re
going to have some stability because you’re gonna be in there it’s gonna be a
program or a not a program more of a schedule
that you can follow and look forward to hold yourself accountable to alright so
like I said it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done for myself but alright
that pretty much covers how I found my therapist I’d love to give you my
referral but I don’t think they will go over too good cuz I’ll probably lose my
slot but alright guys good luck to you I don’t see you soon

Tony wyaad

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46 COMMENTS

  1. Vigilance Elite Posted on September 26, 2019 at 8:35 pm

    Vigilance Elite Subscribers,

    I realize the content that I've been putting out as of lately is very different from what you are used to seeing from me and from Vigilance Elite. We started out in the firearms industry and have broadly expanded into other genres. I've realized how much my opening up about my own personal issues has given the courage to 1000's of others to find the answers they need to better themselves. I have received more emails from all types of people (military, police, and civilians) than I can possibly read and respond to. Describing to me how much the last video on social anxiety helped them, gave them the strength they've needed to get help, how it gave them a new strategy to push through social functions. I've had a Sheriff's Dept ask to use that video in their mandatory training after critical stress incidents. To me, this has been extremely fulfilling and very meaningful. I will continue on this path with this type of content until I believe the information I have to share is no longer relevant. Thank you all for the amazing support.

    Yours Truly,
    Sean Ryan

    Reply
  2. DarthKane Posted on October 13, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    VA Community Care got you covered cause the VA mental health system is overloaded and underfunded.

    Reply
  3. Eric L Krepps Sr Posted on October 14, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    👍exactly

    Reply
  4. Winston Leg-Thigh Posted on October 14, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    We’re not alone brother

    Reply
  5. Matt Jones Posted on October 15, 2019 at 1:02 am

    Super helpful advice that will help many. Good drills. BZ

    Reply
  6. Lee LaMount Posted on October 15, 2019 at 5:35 am

    Thank you again. This conversation helps get these issues out into the light of day and hopefully will help even more.

    Reply
  7. iyaa2w071 461 ret Posted on October 15, 2019 at 7:17 pm

    Tossing out there
    Mil service has unique demands on families, inter relationships, kids etc…

    Gary Chapman has books out now, seminars on those specific issues dealing with those issues like mil service, kids, spouses, us…. Etc

    Dr Chapman is worth a look for all the right reasons – fyi 🇺🇸👍

    As Sean mentioned, it starts in the mirror for things to change
    Pride kills…. Almost did me in too

    Reply
  8. AristophanesNow Posted on October 16, 2019 at 12:13 am

    This was fascinating. What I relate to is the no bullshit testimony.

    Reply
  9. The Hustle Posted on October 16, 2019 at 2:02 am

    Your videos are very relaxing.

    Reply
  10. soulflyNYC Posted on October 16, 2019 at 8:47 am

    In your darkest hour: https://youtu.be/ao2X8RMq75w

    Reply
  11. Kenny Dave Posted on October 16, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    in my experience most doctors are arrogant unhelpful assholes. Fix yourself

    Reply
  12. godiskungen27 Posted on October 16, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    A really really good video. Its not always about bottling up all things in life sometimes you just need to get someone elsses opinion help the tools or to talk about things…I lost several pol close to me..put all things in a box handled it…I thought…but I recently look for help someone to talk about things and its worth so much more then I ever thought…really good video Thanks / Marcus Sweden

    Reply
  13. localguy8 Posted on October 18, 2019 at 6:25 am

    Great advise 🙏🙏🙏

    Reply
  14. R Hodges Posted on October 18, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    This helped me a lot man. Going thru some shit myself last few months. USN 1974-76.

    Reply
  15. Robert Cowan Posted on October 18, 2019 at 8:28 pm

    THERES ONLY 1 YOU NEED ,, GOD THRU THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST. WISE UP DUDE

    Reply
  16. Kimchi Sammich Posted on October 19, 2019 at 3:03 am

    This guy's channel is going to fucking blow up. Just watch. He is hitting all the right notes and building one of the most needed brands now. I love this channel. It's not just about veterans struggling with reintegration into society its much deeper. It's about the human condition, battling demons and going for what you think is right even though life is cloudy and gives you doubts and fear. It's about coming out of each challenge. Like I said, this guy is going to be HUGE.

    Reply
  17. Robert Byng Posted on October 20, 2019 at 12:29 am

    Easy dont give a shit.

    Reply
  18. Magnus Childers Posted on October 20, 2019 at 2:40 am

    Please keep going

    Reply
  19. Nick Penny Posted on October 20, 2019 at 9:41 am

    Hey man, new viewer. I'm not military, but I'm a firm believer in everyone seeking therapy for the difficulties they have. Everyone's given a toolkit, and sometimes that toolkit's not sufficient to deal with the issues at hand. I'd rather find a master mechanic to help me than deal with my major issues on my own. Thanks so much for helping to shed some light and understanding on this touchy issue. Appreciate you, your sacrifices, and your struggle.

    Reply
  20. Billy But Whole Posted on October 21, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    your words gave me courage and your honesty means alot to me, i have thought about therapy for a long time but i never went through with it. i am really affraid i wont even be able to know how to begin. Where do i even start? There is so much wrong on so many levels.

    Reply
  21. Laz Toth Posted on October 23, 2019 at 12:05 am

    Dear, Shaun I am in a wheelchair where should I carry my kinfe?? Please answer. Thanks BROTHER

    Reply
  22. Mickey Marshall Posted on October 23, 2019 at 12:19 am

    I wish you the best in your journey. Enjoy your channel very much.

    Reply
  23. OscarLimaMike Posted on October 23, 2019 at 5:00 am

    I am loving your channel. Great mix of material. No bullshit presentation is excellent.
    I am doing the same thing, therapy. For the same reason, a bit if a task finding the right one.
    Anyways, thanks for this and all the work you are doing. Keep it up.

    Reply
  24. Jim Posted on October 23, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    As an old Vietnam Vet, who spent many years in therapy, I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for having the guts to do this video. Your message is something that all combat vets should take seriously….the issues will be with you the rest of your life so in order to coup, the best way to do it (in my opinion) is to talk to someone! Again, thanks for posting this message. God Bless!

    Reply
  25. Roger D. Miller Posted on October 25, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    Important stuff. It took me 20 years to find the right analyst. In my case, it was a Jungian analyst. It changed my life for the better.

    Reply
  26. Mulsh Posted on October 26, 2019 at 12:12 am

    Hi Sean! I just want to say as someone who might not necessarily be part of your target audience (Liberal dude), I think it is beyond fantastic that you have made this video and the social anxiety one before it. While I think the stigma around mental health is decreasing, it still keeps so many, especially our veterans who have done such meaningful service, from getting the real help that they need. I really admire you as a former SEAL and CIA contractor putting this out there. Instead of pushing the "no excuses" approach, you're doing this, and I have to say it's some of the most important YouTube content that I have ever seen. As you've mentioned, you've had a huge response to these videos, and I just hope it gets bigger. I've just subscribed and I'm looking forward to more gun videos, EDC videos, and videos like these. Much love. P.S. Also loved your "Motivation" and "Don't be a Dick" videos.

    Reply
  27. Matt Rogers Posted on October 26, 2019 at 12:56 am

    One correction. Only psychiatrists have an MD. Psychologists and counselors can have PhD’s. Don’t let the letters after a persons name sway you.

    Reply
  28. Savage 17 Posted on October 27, 2019 at 1:21 am

    Hey man. Real talk. I've been in therapy a couple times. No shame. Thanks for the info.

    Reply
  29. Mandy P Posted on October 28, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    Thank you for sharing. I lost my ex husband, my twin daughters lost their father to suicide from PTSD. He was a Marine Vet & Sheriff. #22aday

    Reply
  30. Regular Guy Posted on October 30, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    I continue to be impressed by you, Shawn; not only on your accomplishments in your military career but your 'in your face' honesty. Right on man!

    Reply
  31. Chad Kurth Posted on October 31, 2019 at 4:35 am

    I did not serve but , this is a wakeup call for the issues in my life. Thanks, Brother!

    Reply
  32. Rory Lees-Oakes Posted on November 4, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    Thanks, Shawn, Speaking as a therapist your observations are on point.

    Reply
  33. Franklin Jones Posted on November 5, 2019 at 3:06 pm

    Thanks BM1

    Reply
  34. O K Posted on November 9, 2019 at 5:19 am

    My head is more important than my ass.

    How often do you go?

    Reply
  35. Will 631 Posted on November 9, 2019 at 7:25 am

    Shawn please make more videos. Your a real person all these morons out here with millions of subscribers babbling bullshit. But thank you for your service and keep making great content!

    Reply
  36. Matthew Fox Posted on November 11, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    God bless you for opening up and sharing your feelings

    Reply
  37. CA G Posted on November 14, 2019 at 12:29 am

    You dont need a therapist, you need to ask God's forgiveness for going to the other side of the planet and murdering people that in no way threatened YOU where you live. So many vets off themselves, because they LOST THEIR SOULS in bullshit wars.

    Reply
  38. Fernando Paulo Posted on November 19, 2019 at 6:52 am

    Amazing.👍

    Reply
  39. personalsafetykam Posted on November 23, 2019 at 4:17 am

    What an important video. Breaking that stigma. A Navy SEAL speaking so openly about the benefits of getting help. Just excellent.

    Reply
  40. Carlos B Posted on November 23, 2019 at 1:26 pm

    Thank you for making this. All the best to you and yours during the holiday season. Have a happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas.

    Reply
  41. Cameron Saxon Posted on November 27, 2019 at 7:06 pm

    Such a good guy♥️

    Reply
  42. onarampage twentyfourseven Posted on December 2, 2019 at 2:04 am

    Shawn thanks for making the tough videos. I have always like your direct approach and find it refreshing to hear the truth and not sugar coated bullshit. It doesn't matter if you are at vet or a civilian, this is a hard topic to tackle. Asking for help and staying with it is hard for just about anyone. I been going to therapy for years for crap from my youth that causes me to have anxiety. Keep up the awesome work l, I know you are helping people and that is a hell of a thing.

    Reply
  43. Sam Li Posted on December 5, 2019 at 5:57 am

    SEAN…..YOU ARE TRULY A WARRIOR IN ALL ASPECTS AND LOVE THE FACT THAT YOUR 100% GENUINE AND REAL.  THIS IS AN OFF THE WALL QUESTIONS, BUT WHO CARES ………….DO YOU BELIEVE IN BIGFOOT?  IF SO, WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON THESE THINGS?  I WATCH ALOT OF HOW TO HUNT VIDEO'S………….TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.

    Reply
  44. C D Posted on December 13, 2019 at 12:28 am

    You know I can kind of tell this is hard for you to open up like this. Idon’t know if it is because I am an RN or going through some of the same social anxiety things or what but thank you, thank you for putting yourself out there to help others like me.

    Reply
  45. Donna Bowen Posted on December 13, 2019 at 5:59 am

    Great advice on what sort of person your therapist is. My first one I could see by their broken capillaries and ruddy complexion they had a drinking problem. I prefer a wholesome type person that has always had their emotions and life together so I can see what that looks like.

    Reply
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