April 8, 2020
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Key & Peele – Retired Military Specialist


[hinges creaking] – I WAS WONDERING WHEN
I WOULD COME IN HERE TO FIND YOU SITTING IN THAT CHAIR. – IT WASN’T EASY
TRACKING YOU DOWN, DECKER. – WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE. – I KNOW YOU’VE RETIRED,
BUT– – THAT’S ALL BEHIND ME NOW,
GENERAL. I’M NOT THE MAN YOU KNEW
DURING THE COLD WAR. – I UNDERSTAND. WE’RE NOW FACING A THREAT UNLIKE
ANY WE’VE EVER FACED BEFORE. A MAN WITH YOUR EXPERTISE–
– I MADE A VOW. NEVER TO KILL
ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. SORRY, GENERAL, GONNA
HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE. – OH… NO, WE WEREN’T
THINKING YOU’D DO IT. WE WERE–[clears throat]
JUST HOPING YOU COULD RECOMMEND SOMEONE
FOR THE JOB. – I GUESS I COULD
COME OUT OF RETIREMENT. – NO. NO NEED.
JUST A RECOMMENDATION WILL DO. – ALL RIGHT. I’LL DO IT. – YOU KNOW, YOU’RE JUST
NOT WHAT WE’RE LOOKING FOR. – YOU SLY SON OF A BITCH. YOU ALWAYS KNEW
HOW TO PUSH MY BUTTONS. I’M IN. – NOT YOU, DECKER. – I’M SHARP AS I EVER WAS.
– [sighs] – EVEN FASTER TOO.
GRAB MY HAND. NOPE. WAIT TILL
I COUNT TO THREE FIRST. – REALLY? – ONE. TWO. THREE. OKAY. I WANT YOU TO TRY
AND SLAP ME IN THE FACE. UNH! WASN’T READY FOR THAT. TRY AGAIN. UNH! OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? – NOW WHAT?
– DIDN’T HAVE MY ADRENALINE UP. ‘CAUSE THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL
HIGH-STAKES SITUATION. ALL RIGHT. DRAW YOUR WEAPON. AND…DISARMED.
[gun hammer clicks] YOU’RE GETTING PRETTY QUICK
AND DISARMED–OKAY. I DON’T NEED
TO TAKE YOUR WEAPON. YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHOOT ME. – I AM NOT
GOING TO SHOOT YOU. – WING ME IN THE SHOULDER.
– THIS IS RIDICULOUS! – TRY, GENERAL.
SEE WHAT HAPPENS. – [sighs] – DEFLECTED–OOOWW! – OKAY. I MADE
A MISTAKE COMING HERE. – WING ME IN THE OTHER SHOULDER.
– I’D RATHER NOT. – I INSIST. DEFLECTED–AAAHH! THAT WAS BECAUSE MY OTHER ARM
WAS ALREADY INJURED. – OKAY. I’M LEAVING.
– [grunting] ALL RIGHT. ALL OR NOTHING. GUT SHOT. – NO!
– GUT SHOT! COME ON! IF YOU CAN SHOOT ME IN THE GUT,
I’LL CONCEDE. – DECKER, YOU HAVE
TWO WOUNDED ARMS. – GUT SHOT! GO! – GOT IT.
[groans] – YOU–YOU CAUGHT THE BULLET? – OH, YEAH.
[groans] – SO YOU’RE TELLING ME
THAT THE BULLET IS IN BETWEEN
YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW. – THAT’S WHAT
I’M TELLING YOU. – [sighs] [birds chirping] – IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? COME ON. HEAD SHOT. HEAD SHOT.
I’M READY. ONE SEC THOUGH.
[gunshot]

Tony wyaad

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100 COMMENTS

  1. Raul Muniz Posted on August 10, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    THAT'S WHAT IM TEEELING
    YOU

    Reply
  2. Abhay Agarwal Posted on August 12, 2019 at 6:39 pm

    GUT shot 😂

    Reply
  3. Mashruz Posted on August 12, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    LITTRERY LMAO 😂😂😂

    Reply
  4. Rocky jet Daguyen Posted on August 13, 2019 at 8:28 pm

    Kinda notice it that only Peele gets slap on the face on every video but never Key. Lol
    Front hand!
    Back hand!

    Reply
  5. waka waka Posted on August 14, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    NOT YOU Decker.

    Reply
  6. SS Sane Li Posted on August 14, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    WAIT,ONE SECOND THO…. BANG

    Reply
  7. MARCOMOSTHATED Posted on August 17, 2019 at 2:37 am

    These skits are saving my life right now

    Reply
  8. Logan Posted on August 18, 2019 at 5:58 am

    Lol he can survive nuclear explosion though….. y'all just need to give him atleast one chance!!

    Reply
  9. UNDERACHIEVAZ Posted on August 18, 2019 at 6:52 am

    to get shot three times and slapped twice decker was a rough dude lol

    Reply
  10. Briar Mason Posted on August 18, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    "Grab my hand."

    grabs his hand

    "Nope… wait until I count to three first."

    Reply
  11. Just me Posted on August 18, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    He didnt count to 3 tho..

    Reply
  12. Jonathan Cruz Posted on August 19, 2019 at 7:22 pm

    How me and my ex first met

    Reply
  13. HellzFugitive GoodGuy Posted on August 20, 2019 at 1:10 am

    Yo the way he shake his head like he had the bullet had me floored

    Reply
  14. Divorced Kermit Posted on August 20, 2019 at 1:32 am

    DeflecTeOOOOOOH!

    Reply
  15. EVS Santiago Posted on August 21, 2019 at 1:22 am

    Haaahaha lol wtf this shit is funny as fuck

    Reply
  16. Edward Mordrake Posted on August 21, 2019 at 10:24 am

    This is the man who trained John wick…. Unbelievable!

    Reply
  17. trixy n.b.d. Posted on August 21, 2019 at 11:01 am

    From the thumbnail i thought he was the shazam guy from shazam

    Reply
  18. Raphy TheMighty Posted on August 22, 2019 at 1:27 am

    dude wtf this is like the first ep of Manhunt on netflix xD

    Reply
  19. Q The Messenger Posted on August 22, 2019 at 3:21 pm

    2:43 "you know what…. shoot me"🤣

    Reply
  20. jason fasthorse Posted on August 22, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    anybody come back to this video after seeing the new one

    Reply
  21. byron luke Posted on August 22, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    I guess the proud thug joined the military.

    Reply
  22. Rudy Francisco Posted on August 22, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    Who’s here after the “ He wasn’t ready for the hologram” upload ?

    Reply
  23. Twinkle Meena Posted on August 22, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    M here after the new video👩‍💻

    Reply
  24. Me Me Posted on August 22, 2019 at 10:51 pm

    Who came to rewatch after seeing Decker back in action?

    Reply
  25. MzRThirty Posted on August 22, 2019 at 11:34 pm

    Yo Decker back in the day was OP!

    Reply
  26. MzRThirty Posted on August 22, 2019 at 11:36 pm

    He really did survive that headshot

    Reply
  27. cjthexmeister Posted on August 22, 2019 at 11:43 pm

    So, you came back huh?

    Reply
  28. sKy Leaf Posted on August 23, 2019 at 12:31 am

    I came back from the hologram episode…

    Reply
  29. Richard Chan Posted on August 23, 2019 at 12:51 am

    Anyone here from their recent vid

    Reply
  30. Mohmdyle Posted on August 23, 2019 at 12:52 am

    Who came here to rewatch after Decker hologram video

    Reply
  31. Ragnork 101 Posted on August 23, 2019 at 1:17 am

    'Grap my hand'

    'ooaap'

    "count to three first" best part 😂

    Reply
  32. Porkchop Sandwiches Posted on August 23, 2019 at 1:23 am

    Deflectedoooooowwwwww

    Reply
  33. Rhey Jhey Posted on August 23, 2019 at 4:29 am

    so basically he is specialized in recommending someone for the job? lmao 🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
  34. Athyo Bhide Posted on August 23, 2019 at 4:49 am

    Lol who came after watching the second part

    Reply
  35. D'andre Chesterfield Posted on August 23, 2019 at 5:03 am

    Did Tim HeiDECKER steal his idea for Decker from this??

    Reply
  36. Rohan Danait Posted on August 23, 2019 at 7:20 am

    Can't believe Decker doesn't know how to play fronthand backhand

    Reply
  37. unleashed rider Posted on August 23, 2019 at 7:43 am

    Very funny but it was stolen from monte python and the holy grail

    the black knight scene

    Reply
  38. samim qazi Posted on August 23, 2019 at 11:53 am

    ha ha ha ha man this is soo freaking funny .. lol these guys are rocking it

    Reply
  39. RariGold Posted on August 23, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    Why did he really think he could swat a bullet

    Reply
  40. James Moriarty Posted on August 23, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    Man I love the Chappelle show

    Reply
  41. YFedecs Posted on August 23, 2019 at 4:36 pm

    When you've seen the new Decker skit and you realize he must have caught the last bullet 🗿

    Reply
  42. 👿GiriGirl👿 Posted on August 23, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    Had to revisit the original. It's still gold.

    Reply
  43. Lucky Kim Posted on August 23, 2019 at 5:19 pm

    Dang did he really slap him that hard? 🖐🖐🤣🤣

    Reply
  44. American Enigma _ Posted on August 23, 2019 at 7:05 pm

    I came from HOLOGRAM video with decker !!! We need a full decker movie 🍿 🎥

    Reply
  45. Daniel Garrett Posted on August 23, 2019 at 11:29 pm

    Cmon, if you can shoot me in the gut I'll concede…

    Reply
  46. raul castillo Posted on August 24, 2019 at 1:13 am

    Hes wearing a graduation beret. What soldiers wear when they graduate basic training😂

    Reply
  47. CaT V Posted on August 24, 2019 at 1:26 am

    “Disarmed” 😂

    Reply
  48. lukecage275 Posted on August 24, 2019 at 3:49 am

    This isn't his first rodeo.

    Reply
  49. Dickie Gaming Posted on August 24, 2019 at 8:19 am

    Does anyone know the name of the suspenseful music going on in this episode?

    Reply
  50. Jesse Ramirez Posted on August 24, 2019 at 8:37 am

    And deflect-aaahhhhh. And deflect-aaahhhhh,that’s because my other shoulder was in pain

    Reply
  51. CarbolicSoap Posted on August 24, 2019 at 12:50 pm

    You and I both came back.

    Reply
  52. Michael Fleming Posted on August 24, 2019 at 5:03 pm

    Who came back after the new ep

    Reply
  53. DukkulanMarshal Posted on August 24, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    "Dats wat I'm ᵗᵉˡˡᶦⁿ HYa"

    Reply
  54. kell dell Posted on August 25, 2019 at 3:06 am

    We saw the black Knight in Monty Python

    Reply
  55. Michael Sabando Posted on August 25, 2019 at 3:15 am

    2:20
    When I get spawn peeked in Rainbow when the round just starts

    Reply
  56. Brian O'Kongkohr Posted on August 25, 2019 at 3:54 am

    "Old soldiers never die, they simply fade away… but a head shot may only work to keep the particularly old stubborn ones down." – General Douglas MacArthur
    Most only know the first part of that quote.

    Reply
  57. BirdLaw.of.Philly Posted on August 25, 2019 at 4:18 am

    monty python funny

    Reply
  58. Panot Lisahapanya Posted on August 25, 2019 at 5:34 am

    John wick in 100 years

    Reply
  59. Arthur-Ransom Phoenix Posted on August 25, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    like #183K range The intro to front hand back hand. chuckle. Also have another Decker skit, look for it He Wasn't Ready For The Hologram.

    Reply
  60. Tavious Soul Posted on August 25, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    Specialist, sergeant.. or sergeant major.. anyone of them could have had mortars almost take their lives.. been shot at..or seen people die right in front of them. It doesn’t matter what rank you are when you retire. They’re retired for a fucking reason.

    Reply
  61. Animesh Gandhi Posted on August 25, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    Just realized that from 2:12 – 2:18, Decker and the General continued from where they left off in forehand-backhand. And seems like the General lost, again. Evidently he never learns

    Reply
  62. Shan Muga Posted on August 25, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    That thriller movie like music throughout the video is hilarious

    Reply
  63. MGTOW Stan Posted on August 26, 2019 at 5:22 am

    so her survived to face the hologram

    Reply
  64. Hawk Force Posted on August 26, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    I WANT THE BACKGROUND MUSIC

    Reply
  65. X G Posted on August 26, 2019 at 2:51 pm

    I want Decker as an operator for the R6 Siege game.

    Reply
  66. (Gamer Bros) MaximuZ712 Posted on August 27, 2019 at 1:27 am

    After MGS:V

    Reply
  67. (Gamer Bros) MaximuZ712 Posted on August 27, 2019 at 1:28 am

    Tis But A Scratch

    Reply
  68. Chadd Press Posted on August 27, 2019 at 12:30 pm

    So he a e4 lol

    Reply
  69. Tribe Of Warriors Posted on August 27, 2019 at 3:34 pm

    Kinda remind me of Thor in the end game

    "Shoot me in the shoulder… Deflected"

    Reply
  70. lukeFive Posted on August 27, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    "Dis armed…." #misses#…"OK I don't need to take your weapon, "laughs"……..shoot me" LMAO

    Reply
  71. BaronNate Posted on August 28, 2019 at 4:03 am

    Anyone else see that the Flash (shield) on Key's beret was upside down?  LOL.   Wardrobe made an oopsie.

    Reply
  72. mkleejr34 Posted on August 28, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    If Rambo was real….he be Decker.

    Reply
  73. Brandon Boss Posted on August 29, 2019 at 1:37 am

    The funniest murder I've ever scene.

    Reply
  74. Real Kim Jung Un Posted on August 29, 2019 at 2:29 am

    caught itt! ohhhgghhh hahahha lmao

    Reply
  75. pedro Posted on August 29, 2019 at 3:22 am

    I laughed way to hard on the first shoulder shot

    Reply
  76. Jeffry Wharton Posted on August 29, 2019 at 9:12 am

    What happened to the General’s accent?

    Reply
  77. John Dalton Posted on August 29, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    Is it Thor's adventure?

    Reply
  78. Rigo Lara Posted on August 29, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    The new Rambo movie

    Reply
  79. lanz ortiz Posted on August 30, 2019 at 9:06 am

    he actually survive and got the job. well done decker.

    Reply
  80. your comment might not work so please Posted on August 30, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    Grab my hand

    Grabs hand

    😥😥🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
  81. your comment might not work so please Posted on August 30, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    DEFLECTed

    Aaaahhhhhhh

    🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
  82. John Knight Posted on August 30, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    Wonder how Decker was before?

    Reply
  83. Kartolo Premanto Posted on August 31, 2019 at 11:21 am

    So they delete the drill sergeant song, because of butthurt syndrome?

    Reply
  84. syd mdx Posted on August 31, 2019 at 6:14 pm

    Wait why does keys character remind me so much of Connor from Detroit become human

    Reply
  85. wad316 Posted on August 31, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    He's back, my dudes – he caught that headshot lmao

    Reply
  86. tra bungko Posted on September 1, 2019 at 1:39 pm

    the background music is on point.

    Reply
  87. Ariel Louk Posted on September 2, 2019 at 2:20 am

    What’s the music in the background I like it I want to know what to know what it is

    Reply
  88. Croazz B Posted on September 2, 2019 at 4:54 am

    Man, he's gotta learn to draxx them sklounst

    Reply
  89. hwanzi Posted on September 3, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    had to come rewatch this to see how he caught the bullets!

    Reply
  90. Wenesha Edwards Posted on September 4, 2019 at 2:11 am

    T
    This was sooo hilarious!!!!

    Reply
  91. Mr. Fairplay Posted on September 5, 2019 at 6:54 am

    This is a Rambo parody

    Reply
  92. Izik Garza Posted on September 5, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Me the week after I graduate high school

    Reply
  93. Nika L'tari Posted on September 6, 2019 at 4:21 am

    This is like Fronthand Backhand on steroids

    Reply
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