November 18, 2019
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Military Families (English)


>>Troy: Over the course of my 27 year career,
I’ve been deployed 5 times. The first time was to Somalia, of course 3
deployments to Iraq, and my final deployment was to Afghanistan. They were tough deployments, most of which
were at least a year, but the toughest thing of all was leaving my family.>>Mother: Having a husband away while you
are going through troubled time is very difficult. It’s very important to keep the moral up
in your spouse no mater what you are going through on the home front that’s what gives
them hope.>>Troy: It was a tough situation, you had
to find a balance between the mission and being able to reach out to family. I will say I did lean on some of my fellow
soldiers but we would discuss some family concerns that we may have and quite frankly
you get so focused on the missions at hand that you probably wouldn’t even think of
the simple solutions that one of your fellow soldiers would propose to you. Why don’t you do this. That really worked. I also tried to convey that to my wife back
home.>>Mother: During the first deployment when
Troy left, it was very difficult because he was gone for days and days and weeks at a
time and when we did get a chance to speak it was only for 15 minutes. So we wrote down notes, we had to write them
down and try to get through the first 10 most important ones at the top. The second deployment it got a little better
because they created this thing called Skype. When Skype was available it was just delight
to just hear his voice, because then we knew that he was alive. If you have a wife on the home front, when
you come home, shouldn’t nothing else be more important than to go to her and the children
and acknowledging them and say Honey I’m home. Im happy to see you. Just that little bit does a lot. It refresh the soul and that helps her continue. If her soul is good then everything else comes
out of her to help your children and you. Tynndall was born August 22, 2001. We noticed some regression is his behavior
so we called up our pediatrician. He did go on to say that this child would
never speak, he would never be independent, he would never be able to live on his own. I was under a lot of stress so I eventually,
I was crying, but I knew that it was time for me to get started to do the work and it
was time for me to put in the work. So what I did was I educated myself. At that time, there was not a support group
for our children. They encouraged me to start up a support group
with them and I did. I’d team up with parent groups and I would
partner with them and say hey lets go out with our kids and we do that because that’s
what it is all about, talking. Letting us know that each milestone, what
we need to look for if you have a kid that is ten. Tell me what we need to look for because no
one wants to see the regression of our children. Tryndall does speech every 3 and 4 times a
week at speech therapy OT, physical therapy, applied behavior. We did everything because I was destined to
get his voice back. The military has designed a program now where
they provide respite for him. Respite is very crucial, they set you up and
they do an interview with you and they give you so many respite hours while your husband
is away. They pay the provider to come into your home
to care for your children. That gives the mother or whatever parent thats
on the home front time to reanalyze when they get a moment away. Getting some peace within the mind because
taking care of a special needs child is actually 24/7.>>Troy: I am truly thankful for my wife. One thing I always try to convey to her is
I appreciate her as a person, as a lover, being my support system.>>Mother: To me it’s important that you
still love one another, you have to remember why you fell in love because it does get stressful. But giving up has never been an option. You don’t give up a fight. You fight it out and you figure it out. As a mother I’m gonna do what I need to
do and I have to do no matter how hard it is. We are going to get through this.>>Troy: My wife is the toughest person that
I know. For her to deal with me being gone as much
as I was gone and of course in the process, just managing all of our family affairs while
I was away. She is my hero.

Tony wyaad

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