(The Undertaker and Kane.) *TV*
(Have just beat the hell out of each other.) *TV*
(Look at this! Kane ain’t the first one to his feet!) *TV*
(Here’s another look at it) Ryder: Shit! Fuck this! *TV*
(It’s a career that lasts a lifetime.) *TV*
(A career where you’re always on the winning team.) Ryder: Jeah
(Put war skills to work, in the military.) Ryder: You know something matter of fact?
That’s a good idea. Ryder: I ain’t gonna be robbing shit forever.
Shit, I’m outta here. CJ: Ayyy Ryder.
Where you think you’re goin’? Ryder: Da army mah niyya. Da army! Ryder: Ooooh
Weeee! Gate Soldier: Hey!
You! Stop. Ryder: Whatever, punk. Soldier: You looking to be taken in? Ryder: Jeah? Soldier: About time. You son of a bitch. Ryder: Whatever. Ryder: Get outta my way!
(Soldier: Heyyy, Son-Of-A-Bitch!) Ryder: Ayy, what’s goin’ on here? Soldier: Well, look at YOU!
Welcome, stud-muffin. Ryder: Wha..? *Unknown Person in the background*
Hey Tony, would you do the world a favor? And get the fuck out of here? Soldier: You beast! Unknown: Welcome, Ryder.
I thought I would never see you here. I bet you remember who I am. Ryder: Jeah, you a fool! Fool: No I’m not a fool.
I’m your commander here. Commander: Now that I see you have joined the army. You finally have the chance
to put yo- -ur Ninja skills into good uses.
We are ab- -out to start our first operation
in a few days. More details on that later. But for now you have to come with me as we are about to start our first lecture for all the new recruits. Ryder: waaaatever. Don’t expect me to kiss yo’ ass or nothin’. You-Still a Busta to me. Commander: Welcome everyone to our annual new army recruit lecture. Soldier: Ah crap! This shit again? Soldier2: Great! Everybody’s coming together.
This is like group therapy. Commander: Alright then, I guess I will just cover the basics. And give it over to the ammunition guy. First of all. Everyone will go training in the morning with Ryd- -der being your coach for this time as he is mo- -re experience with war than any of you bitches. Ryder: Oh Jeah! Commander: Second of all.
Everyone must be man enough to shoot and face death. Basically don’t be pussy.
And third of all you must make yo -ur own bed and iron your clothes yourself.
Your mommy ain’t here. And you better get used to it. Soldier: Iron my own clothes?
Shhhfff. Ammunition Guy: What America needs is more guns. Love your country?
Buy a gun. It’s American’s right to kill indiscriminately. The best defence,
IS TO SHOOT FIRST! A gun is the only true friend you’ll ever need. If you don’t love your gun, it won’t love YOU. The wars are comin’, you hear? Soldier2: I’ve really learnt something here today.
Your inner strength is an inspiration to us all. Ammunition guy: You hard yet?
Guy1: (God is that real?) Guy1: (Look at the size of that thing!) Guy2: (Hope you choke a doodle-doo!) Ryder: Man whatchu doin’? Gay1: Get out of here!
Ryder: Watchu mean?
Gay1: Get out, Get OUT! Ryder: Why?
Gay Soldier: Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT! Ryder: Watever, I’ll be outside. These part time soldiers got a chip on their shoulders. Soldier: (I told her, you ain’t geti.. *innaudible*
Ryder: Where I put the damn water!? Soldier2: (Maaannnn got the hangerover from hell) Soldier: (Nothin’ ever goes right for me these days.
Missed out on the promotion and now the wife left.) Ammunition guy: Psst!
Soldier: (At least I don’t have to hide my porn anymore.) Ryder: Where you at!?
Ammunition guy: Take it, hold it, love it. Ryder: Fo’ Sho’ (For sure) Ryder: Hut! 1, 2. Hut! 1, 2.
Hut! 1, 2. Hut! 1, 2. Nigga. Hut! 1, 2.
Keep up, motherfucker! What’s the matter, fool?
You tired? Hut! 1, 2.
Hut! 2, 1. Ninja Style ! Commander: Listen up.
It’s time we head out on our operation. We are going to ambush an arms deal in Aldea Malvada. We have to be careful.
And take em’ with stealth. There’s going to be plenty of Russian Mafia members there. Ryder will have to go in Ninja Style and take out the snipers. After that the rest of you follow and take down the ones making the deal. Good luck, Mother Fuckers. Munition guy: Rock and roll! *Intense Music* Agent: Okay. It comes to this, huh? Ryder: This is the spot. Cool as a Shaolin Monk. Commander: Wazzup? You thought I will leave you mother fuckers lone, hah. Well you thought wrong. I brought some medics along with me as well in case things get messy. Medic: Paramedics coming through! Ryder: Waaatever. Hey! Check it out. Look! Over there. That’s what we’re lookin’ fo. Commander: Well that must be the dealer. Dealer: Ima 100% behind you, bois. Ryder: What’s that muda fuka doin’? Commander: Selling some serious fire power to the Russian Mafia. Ryder: That ain’t true. Commander: How do you know that? Ryder: Jeah.. well..Emmet ain’t the pentagon! Commander: Just watch. Emmet: Emmet is the place for guns. I’ve always got the high quality merchandise. Ryder: Whatever you say, Fool. Let’s Storm the place, Ninja Style. Commander: Damn straight.
If you need help, give us a yell. Ryder: Fo’ Sho’. Jeah.. Jeah… I got it.
Ninja Style! Right. Soldier: Big and top of the gun, blah blah blah. Ryder: Kung Fu Mastah!
Fukin’ Genius! *Quietly*
Ninja style. Hii yaah! Trained killah. Agent: Why you hate me too much? Huh?
Ryder: (Hiii yaaah!, Shiet aaahhh) Emmet: Calm down, boy. Shiet, man. Let me check myself.
Am I dead? Russian Mafia: I heard that! What the hell?
Intruder! Russian Mafia: Mother Russia!
I can kick you Amerikanski. Ryder: Punk ass national guard! Help Me, Mother fucker! Soldier: Okay boys, go go go go! Hit em’ hard!
Geronimo! Mafia thug: Good Grace almighty!
Ryder: (Haaiii yaah!) Ryder: My hands are dangerous weapons, motherfucker. Mafia thug: Get away from me! Ryder: Ay Busta, wait up! Mafia thug: Not Now! Kill the Americans! Soldier: Just like in Nam’, Baby! (Bleed motherfucker, bleed!) (Kill ze Americans!) Munition’ Guy: Fuckin’ Commie pricks! Mafia: Just my fucking luck! Ryder: You’re gettin’ that Busta itch again, huh? Mafia: Not now, NOT NOW! Ryder: You can’t stop me.
I’m a genius, fool! Mafia: Moooove it! My fucking nose! Ryder: Wait up, Busta! Mafia: Good fucking gracious! *Scream* *Splash* Ryder: This fool crashin’ on purpose.
I swear! (Ahhhh)
Soldier: Where’s that medic? Medic: Okay, let’s save some lives. Medic: Paramedics. Coming through! *Soldier screams in agony* Medic: Just relax. You’re gonna die. *Laughs* Munition guy: Say goodbye to your head. Mother Fucker! Soldier1: If I die, tell my wife she’s a bitch! I love you, Angela! You bitch! Soldier2: Gonna fucking tear you apart! Ryder: Man! This is gettin’ intense,
this gettin’ worse out here. This is like world war…. Hell! I don’t know… Eight! Soldier: *Dies* Ryder: Shiihet. Whatchu take a bullet for, fool? Commander: What are you standing there? Go help, motherfucker! Ryder: Whatever. Kung fu mastah! OG Ryder, Nigga! Come to do damage. Hiiii yaaah! Mafia1: Come on, tough man! Ryder: Hiiii yaaah! Swaker move’! Kung Fu’ Mastah! Mafia2: Take the Russian bullet! Ryder: Hiiii yaaah!
Nice try. Asshole. Mafia2: Oooh Fuck! Ryder: Hiiii yaaah! I’m a motherfuckin’ trained killer, motherfucker. Soldier: Whoa Whoa! I’m like your muhfuhkin’ drill sargent. Just tryna’ keep my soldiers alive, nigga. Mafia: You won’t leave here alive! Ryder: Shit! Mafia: Prepare to die! Amerikanski. Ryder: Shit! Wats wrong witchu, man?
Somebody shoot im’. Mafia: Shoo… Aahhhh
(*GunShot*) Ryder: Dayum! Commander: And once again your boy comes to save a day. Woo guys we won… for now. Let’s go back to the base to celebrate. Ryder: Fo’ Sho’ *Fun Music* Commander: Hey yo, Ryder. I would like to personally thank you for what you did today. Without your KAN FO’ Ninja Skills
we would’ve lost. And never been able to take down those ruskies and arrest Emmet. Ryder: For now, this is basting the silence of victory, mothefucker. Commander: Hey yo listen up, motherfuckers I have an announcement to make. First of all, you better make some fucking noise for our hero Ryder. *Soldiers cheer* Ryder: Jeah. Don’t mention it.
(Soldiers cheer) Commander: As a thank you for your work today. I will promote you to being our guns warehouse guard. Ryder: Waaaatever. Ryder: *Whistling* Ryder: This is the spot.
National Guard depot. Shiet, I’ll go round up some homies. *Dialing* Ryder: Wassup!? LB. My homie LB? He like a clock work Ninja. Real dependable. Commander: Ay Ay, what the fuck is going on here?
Where are all the barracks driving off to? Ryder, what is going on tell me now or else. Ryder: You know somethin’?
Once a grove street OG, you always a grove street OG. You see, I told ya. You. Still. a Busta to me. Later homie. Commander: Don’t you dare to cut me off again, motherfucker. I swear I will hunt you down, you punk ass shermhead. Where the fuck do you think you’re going now? God damn I thought we were friends. Good friends. Ryder you will always be a god damn failure. Ryder: Where I put the damn wat.. *voice fades away*
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